


Something Blue

by ClockStrikesMidnight



Series: This Isn't How It Was Supposed To Go [11]
Category: Captain America (2011), The Avengers - All Fandoms, Thor (2011)
Genre: Cheating, M/M, STUFF wink wink, Stuff is going to happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-12 18:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClockStrikesMidnight/pseuds/ClockStrikesMidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three months until the end of high school. Sometimes it's the best time of your life, sometimes it's the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something Borrowed

"I love you," Loki says over the phone one warm Sunday morning. Tony's going to college now, and Loki's proud of him of course, but he misses him a lot. He went to the same college as Steve and Clint, the one nearby so that they can stay together, but Tony's so busy all the time they hardly have any time to see each other.

It's been reduced to phone calls multiple times a week.

"I love you, too darling," Tony whispers and Loki can sense him leaning in closer to the phone, and Loki does the same. "I have to go, I've got class really early tomorrow morning."

"Alright, I'll call you tomorrow," Loki says and he can hear the rustle of Tony's nod against the speaker.

"Okay, I love you," Tony repeats, a smile etched into his voice.

"I love you, Tony, now go to sleep before Professor Strange gives you another tardy," Loki says with a small laugh which Tony echoes.

"Bye, Loki," Tony says.

"Bye, Tony," Loki says and waits until the other line cuts before taking it from his ear. He knows that he should be going to sleep, too, he's got a big exam tomorrow, but he knows he won't be able to sleep very well. Loki hates himself for it, but he knows what's going on with Tony in college. And it's name is Steve Rogers.

Tony always had a crush on Steve, but now it was different. Now they were together in a dorm room, taking a lot of the same classes and going to parties together that Loki always had to refuse because he had school stuff he needed to be more focused on than parties that went until three in the morning. And it bothered Loki a lot because he knew that Tony wouldn't do that to him, but he kept thinking he would.

Eventually he finishes the assignment and turns to lights out, falling into a deep, lonely sleep.


	2. Something Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Descriptions of *stuff* in this chapter, hence the mature rating. If you're not comfortable with it, don't read.

_He'll appreciate it. He'll be surpirsed and happy that I'm there. He'll like it._

Last day of high school is today, and instead of going to the highly pretentious parties and staying out super late, Loki is going to visit Tony at the dorms. Loki's senior year went by surprisingly fast and easy, getting through every class with at least a B. Tony's first year of college went well, according to him, but Loki knew that it had been more stressful than he'd thought it would be. No matter how difficult it had been, he'd passed and was going to move on. 

Getting out of the house, (Loki had moved back in with Odin and Frigga, mostly because Tony had moved to the dorms to be closer to school and Loki couldn't support the apartment himself.), Loki went to his car, which had been upgraded to a newer Audi TT, roared the engine to life, turned on the radio to the White Stripes, and drove to the college grounds. 

Tony gave Loki a spare key, for whenever Loki might want to drop by, which was often because Loki really couldn't be responsible for being alone with his thoughts. Walking up the stairs to the dorm room, Loki got out the key and turned it in the lock, opening the door. 

Inside was Tony, kneeling in front of fucking _Steve Rogers_ , his hands gripping onto Steve's bare hips, his mouth enveloping Steve's cock. Steve's hands were in Tony's dark hair, pulling him in further, making Tony make a surprised noise and moan against him. Steve was muttering Tony's name, panting and moaning as he spoke. Tony moved one of his hands down to free his cock, jerking himself rythmically with each bob of his head. 

Loki was frozen in shock. He wanted to leave, he wanted to run, scream, throw up a lung, but he was rooted to the spot, just watching the man who he'd wanted to spend the rest of his life with, blowing fucking _Steve Rogers._ Steve moaned heavily as he came in Tony's mouth, and Tony swallowed him whole. Tony followed him over the edge soon after, releasing Steve from his mouth and leaning against Steve's hip. 

His eyes were closed and when he opened them, they landed on Loki, standing in the open doorway, the most pained expression on his features. 

"Loki-" Tony started, but Loki was gone, slamming this door with as much force as he could muster, and running to his car, getting away from the dorm before Tony could even get to the door. 


	3. Something New

The tears are waiting at the edge of his eyes, but he doesn't let them go. He's not going to cry and waste his tears on this betrayal. On _Tony's_ betrayal. He doesn't know where he's going and he doesn't care, he just needs to drive away, far, far away from what he just witnessed. 

How could Tony _do this_ to him? It just didn't add together. Loki knew about Tony's feelings for Steve, he _knew_ about that, but he'd never really thought that Tony would act on it. He never truly believed that Tony would hurt him this way. Loki drives to the old park that he and Tony had ate ice cream at so long ago. The ice cream shop is closed, thank the heavens, and Happy isn't around. He gets out of his car and runs to the bench, throwing himself down onto it and collapsing his head in his hands, trying desperately to keep the tears back. A few slip down his cheek and he wipes them away as soon as they come, drying his hand on his shirt.

He hopes Tony doesn't come after him, he'll probably rip the mans throat out if he does. 

He sniffs wetly, inhaling the warm air through his mouth and closing his eyes, staring up at the darkening sky around him. When he was a kid he'd always wondered what it was like to fly. What it was like to be in the air, soaring through everything and nothing, just oxygen lifting you higher. He remembers being little, only about three, and Thor hoisting him onto his shoulders and running around the yard, Loki's arms stretched and his voice high with laughter. Thor would laugh, too, he'd run faster and faster so the wind would howl in Loki's ears and then he'd duck and jump and make it seem like Loki was hitting huge gusts of wind. Eventually, after Loki's voice was sore, and Thor was too tired to carry him any more, they'd lay out on the grass and find things in the clouds, watch birds chirping on bird feeders in neighbors houses, listen for the oven beep when dinner was done, and eventually to the sound of Odin's car arriving home, for which then their smiles would fade and they'd retreat back inside. 

Loki lets himself cry for entirely different reasons now. Let's himself loose the little sanity he was holding close to him disappear. Now it's tears because of what used to be. Now it's tears about the past, with Thor by his side, always happy and smiling and living life like there was no tomorrow. Everything used to be simple, easy, fun even, but then everything went straight to the pits of hell when Thor entered school. Everything died when Odin treated him like he was less than dirt, and that Thor was always better. Loki laughs a sick, demented laugh when he thinks about that when he lost Thor, he lost Odin, too. He cries for the memories of him and Tony at the beginning, when he was so happy he could have just let his knees give out and collapse onto the earth and breathe in everything, savor every moment because it was perfect. He cries because only a few days ago he was saying he loved Tony over the phone, and Tony was responding with the same.

He screams and he doesn't care if the people in nearby houses call the cops because they think someone is being murdered. After his voice is raw, he slams his head onto the table top of the bench, crushing his left fist over and over on the top and his right fist over and over on the bottom, tears leaving darkened marks on the wood. 

He hears a car driving past but doesn't move an inch, hears foot steps heading his way but doesn't lift his head, hears the voice that makes him want to grab that razor that he always keeps in his pocket and slice himself to shreds. 

"Loki, I'm sorry." 


	4. And a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki swears when he's mad. A lot.

"Get the hell away from me, Stark," Loki hisses and he hates that his voice sounds so weak with sorrow. 

"Loki, just let me explain," Tony says and starts to move closer to Loki, but Loki's faster and jumps from the bench, backing away from Tony. 

"How the fuck do you expect to explain this!? How the hell do you think I could _ever_ forgive you for what I just saw you doing!?" Loki howls, his throat burning but he doesn't care. He needs to be strong. 

"Loki, if you just listen to me I can explain!" Tony says, his voice rising but not nearly as loud as Loki's. 

"No. I don't want to listen. I don't want to hear anything you have to say for yourself. I don't care if the reason was that the fucking Earth was going to fucking explode if you didn't blow fucking Steve Rogers!" Loki kicks the ground for useless emphasis, like a bratty teenage girl, and pebbles make contact with Tony's shoes. 

Tony's eyes search over Loki's face, looking for any hint of anything that will let him speak. He finds none. "Fine. Don't listen then." Tony stands like he's going to leave and Loki almost sighs greatfully, but then the older turns and starts to walk towards him. "You don't have to listen but I'm going to say it anyway." 

Loki's emerald eyes find Tony's and he pierces him with the darkest, most venom filled stare he can. Loki doesn't make any change in his position that tells Tony he can continue to talk, but the shorter does anyway. 

"I got lonely. I miss you, Loki, more than is probably healthy. I miss you, the scent of you and the way you smile when I make a joke or the way you smirk when I make a stupid one." Tony pauses to smile softly and places his hands in his lap as he sits down on the bench. "Steve kissed me tonight and I know, I _know_ that it was to most terrible thing I could have ever done, but I let him get to me. I let those old feelings that I had for him cloud my judgement and let myself be taken in by him. It was just so much of what I'd wanted before. What I wanted when I was younger. _Before_ you came along." Tony looks away from Loki and takes in a shuddering breath. "I just hope you know how sorry I am, because I don't think that over the next millions of years I'll ever be able to get you to trust me again, or get you to forgive me. I know you, Loki, I know that no matter what I say you'll never truly forgive. And I don't blame you."

Loki tries to regain his breath and control his anger but finds it difficult and kicks to ground again to stop himself from grabbing the razor. "So basically what you're telling me is that if I would have fucked you sooner then this never would have happened?!"

"No! Loki that's not what I'm saying at all!" Tony stands and runs over to Loki, but Loki backs away just as quickly like a wounded animal. 

"Well then what are you saying, Tony? Because from what I heard, it sounds like you were lonely and just needed an ass to bury in," Loki growls. 

Tony's face looks so hurt in that second that Loki almost wants to take it back. Almost. 

"How can you think that I would do that to you?" Tony whispers, tears now tainting his cheeks.

"You. Almost. Did. Tony," Loki hissed, walking around him and heading to his car, but a hand on his wrist stops him. 

He's spun around so quickly that he almost gets whiplash and before he can push himself away there are lips on his, salty, tear flavored lips. Loki doesn't lean in, or give any acknowledgement, really, just waits until Tony gets the hint and gives up, releasing his lips and stiffling a sob. 

"Loki, I love you. I know those words don't make any difference, but maybe this will." Tony gets down on one knee right in front of Loki and pulls out a small, black, velvet box. "Loki, will you marry me?" 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I know this is short and ridiculous and I'm sorry that I made you wait so long for this, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get a few longer ones done tomorrow :)


End file.
